"Mad Mozzer Littlemore - The Lunatic Runcorn Dwarf".

We get one or two characters down the old Cumberland Ex-Servicemen´s Club it has to be said, but we´ve just had one of my favourites here for the last couple of weeks. “Mad Mozzer Littlemore, - the lunatic Runcorn dwarf” has been making me chuckle for years. The way he puts on some bizarre wig or head gear, and then gets up all deadpan and sings a completely straight song, his Tommy Cooper style “Runcorn Ferry” monologue complete with a different hat and voice for each character, and whatever that “Fairy routine” is all about? - For this he wears a frilly yellow tutu, a pair of wings strapped to his back and a sparkly wand that he waggles provocatively at his crotch and sings some old Danny Kaye song whilst balancing on one leg. At our Blackpool reunion last year he gave us a rendition of Moon River, or at least I think it was, in truth it was hard to tell what he was singing, mainly due to the fact he was wearing a mask and snorkel and flapping along the stage in a pair of over large flippers.


It´s a rare talent he´s got, because even when he´s dressed normally and being totally sincere he´s still hilarious. He had us all in fits last Sunday when he told of his visit to the market where he bought a belt. He saw a few trendy “Diesel” ones hung up on a rail for show, and when he asked for one, he was handed one already folded up and trussed up with rubber bands, it´s only when he got home and unravelled it that he discovered it had “I Am Gay” written at intervals along its length.

Another major player is “Big Babs from Blackpool” who has a booming personality and has the type of thunderous chortle that can de-froth a pint of bitter from up to four tables away. She too is a huge fan of Mozzer and can be seen embracing him in a terrifying bear-hug and throwing him about like a Rotweiller with a cuddly toy as soon as he enters the building. This week saw them perform together for the first time, - I think Mozzer was supposed to be Sonny Bono, but had more of a look of Fu Manchu to be honest, but whatever, it was very well received. – Long may you rein sir.