Wake Me Up Next Week.

Well, it’s been a lean few days here in Benidorm, the beginning of December is a notoriously quiet time here, placed as it is between the November fiestas and festive celebrations. There was another fiesta yesterday – “Constitution Day” and today we are celebrating the "Imaculate conception" apparently, - would have loved to have seen the look on Joseph's face when Mary came up with that one. You’ve got to hand it to em over here, by the last calculation there’s only about 3 weeks a year without some day off thrown in, they’ve adopted every fiesta from within a 500 mile radius and Christmas lasts about two months.
“The Cumberland Sports & Social Club” re-opens on 14th December and personally I can’t wait to get stuck into it once more, these afternoons are gradually getting longer, I’ve been trailing round the shops today (the Chinese ones – the Spanish ones are all shut), looking for little round sunglasses, not for me you understand, - for Ozzy Osbourne.
Here’s something that caught my eye in the paper while I was on my way to the “World’s Biggest Liar” competition the other week. The new “Colemanballs” book is out, which, if you didn’t know is the bible for all gaffes of the sporting nature. Here’s one or two from the latest volume.
“Once you’ve thrown the javelin, it’s out of your hands” – Tessa Sanderson
“The great North Run is the longest half marathon in the world” – Talksport Radio
“Calzaghe has managed to keep all his personal problems out of his life” - Duke McKenzie.
“He was running quicker than his legs could go” - Steve McLaren
“We are not as good as we think we are. We need to go out there and prove that” – Steve McLaren.
“Gary Neville was captain, and now Ryan Giggs has taken on the mantelpiece” – Rio Ferdinand.
“He chanced his arm and it came off” – Bryan Moore
“If you want a quiet life, you have to turn a blind ear” – Geoff Boycott
“It would help if the groundsman didn’t scatter his seed around the place a couple of days before the game” – Jonathon Agnew.
“Camebridge have won the boat race! – Oxford have come second”. – Geoff Twentyman (BBC radio Bristol).