The Summer Starts Here

Well the summer starts here – the cricket has started! – cue coming in from work, bobbing “Test Match Special” on, stretching out on the sofa and drinking in the latest musings from Sir Geoffrey, C.M.J, Aggers and the boys, - now that´s what I CALL relaxation. Good God we even won a test match today! Big sporting week all round as it goes with my team Leeds United in the first leg of the 1st Division playoffs tomorrow with an early kick off against Millwall – though I suspect it´s not quite early enough for the Greater London Police Force, who put in for a half 7 in the morning start by all accounts (Suspect all leave will be cancelled).
Work wise, I felt a bit for Mike Dennett and Chic (vent act) the other night who did the spot before me to a very sparse crowd, half of whom were watching the Arsenal v Man. United Champions League semi final – with sound on! – you have to laugh – and it´s a shame they didn´t (it was the same for me). Come back the northern working men´s club circuit – all is forgiven.
The “Cumberland Ex-Servicemen´s Club” has been going great since Easter (a notoriously quiet stretch), we´ve got the best part of 600 members now and the collection of characters just grows and grows. The latest is “Paul Orbison” who specializes in songs by ......well, av a guess. He always dresses in black, complete with leather jacket which never leaves his shoulders even though the temperature is up in the 80´s and he even puts his dark glasses on to fill out his karaoke slip! Nice one Paul, you´ll do for us.

http://www.kevinholt.net/

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Halloween An All That

It’s been a pretty quiet week down at the old “Cumberland Sports & Social Club” this week, the lull before the storm that is the Benidorm Fiestas you might say.
We did however pay homage to two top people – Sid and Pauline Dunhill by awarding them the “Members of the Month” trophy for October. Due to budget restrictions however, the Concert Chairman had to revamp an old pigeon trophy which went mercifully un noticed, what didn’t go un noticed though was the fact that he spelt Pauline’s name wrong! - And Sid’s as well now I come to think of it (his name is Raymond).
They have been in every afternoon and every night and have been present at all of my cabaret shows, gleefully showering “Cliff Richard” with table tennis balls and acting as wilful stooges to my “Julio Iglesias” flower routine and bracing themselves for the contents of “Dean Martin’s” glass like the veteran extras that they are.

It’s Halloween tonight and our barmaid Cheryl has been playing hell because the Bat uniform that she’s been requesting for the last two months from Claire and Ivor’s fancy dress shop next door failed to show. So instead she’s going as a big spider. Unfortunately, she has a mortal and irrational fear of the things so let’s just hope she doesn’t catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Mind you, I think Dracula’s had them banned for the evening.

Catching my eye in the on line papers today is the news that 58 year old expat Mark Lewis – who barely speaks a word of Spanish, - has been made Mayor of San Fulgencio (somewhere near Alicante), after he was only one of two councillors not to be arrested on corruption charges. Somebody give the lad a chance I say, this time next week he’ll be building a road through his next door neighbours garden and commissioning his brother to do the work even though he’s running a fish shop in Tooting.

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